Gut Feelings: Adhesions Suck

In the past, I've written a series of blog posts about 'gut feelings' - specifically, topics relevant to intestinal issues, whether it's my own experience or books I've read that I felt would be good for others to read.  You can read any of my posts on this blog by searching through the gut feelings topic (or clicking on this link).

Typically, I stay upbeat in my posts.  But I'm feeling the need to write this post as a matter of personal therapy and document a new emotional struggle that has knocked me down hard.  Reality dictates that we can't be positive all the time.  I know I'm not alone in this process, so it's best to share.

Recently on Saturday, April 18, 2015, I woke up in the morning with some abdominal cramps that felt regrettably like the symptoms of a bowel obstruction.  I was supposed to head out that day for a long weekend vacation to Maine, but alas that was not to be.  As the day progressed, I became increasingly nauseated and vomited several times.  I drank some water in an attempt to stay hydrated but it wouldn't stay in my system and came back up within an hour.  I realized I was getting dehydrated.  

And I thought, "Screw this.  I don't want to go to the hospital."  I sat around in my apartment, tired from the pain, and tried to take a nap.  "Maybe it'll go away on its own."  It wasn't.  Through some convincing from my uncle and mother over the phone, I finally got in my car and drove to the hospital about twenty minutes away.

I was grateful that I had a short wait in the emergency room, and within two hours I already had seen a doctor and received painkillers and anti-nausea medication.  I've learned from past experience to immediately explain to the ER staff that I have a history of bowel obstructions because it's better to rule it out promptly (or more likely, rule it as the problem) instead of wasting time considering other causes.

The doctor ordered a CT scan, and the scan revealed some back-up and considerable distension in my intestines.  The likely suspect this time: small bowel obstruction caused by adhesions (to be defined momentarily).  They admitted me into the hospital and I stayed for three nights.  I got the standard treatment: IV fluids, and no eating or drinking for at least a day.  An NG tube (nasogastric tube) that is inserted through the nose into the stomach was not required this time around, which was a small victory.  I've always needed it in the past but this time I didn't.  Throughout the hospital stay, I gradually upgraded to a clear liquids diet, then to a "low-residue diet," which is similar to a low fiber diet with some additional stipulations.  No surgery required.  On the morning of Tuesday, April 21, I was released from the hospital.  It will take me a few days to physically recover.

This was my third hospital stay since 2000 for bowel obstructions, not including two other stays for diverticulitis and pancreatitis in the past four years.  I thought I figured out the foods to avoid and the right diet to ward off obstructions.  This time around, I couldn't pinpoint a reason that I had control over that caused this obstruction.  

Though I knew it intellectually, I guess I never really grasped the concept that bowel obstructions caused by abdominal adhesions cannot be prevented with a certain diet or exercise.  Adhesions are essentially scars formed due to any number of reasons (past surgeries, inflammation, and other medical conditions).  According to a 1990 study, 93% of people who previously had abdominal surgery later developed adhesions.  Adhesions may generally be harmless, but they can also wrap around the intestines or adhere the intestines to other organs or the abdominal wall.  When this happens, it can result in an obstruction -- which almost always requires medical intervention (sometimes surgery, sometimes not).  While treatments have been under development to deter adhesions from forming after surgery (such as chemical sprays), there's no way to definitively stop them from occurring for the time being (hopefully one day, there will be).

This all leads to my main point of this blog post: Adhesions suck.  Royally.  Because you can't do a damn thing about them.  Doctors can surgically remove them, but then that surgery will leave more adhesions in its wake.  It's a never-ending cycle.   

After the last few days in the hospital, I have to admit that I'm physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.  I'm resigned to the fact that I will inevitably be hospitalized again in the future for bowel obstructions -- they may even increase in occurrence over time.  Pun intended, this scares the shit out of me.  To have knowledge that you will face specific sufferings in the future and you can't do a thing about it is a heavy burden.  I feel helpless with this knowledge now, and it's going to weigh on me for a while.  It's a matter of wondering what the hell I do now.  I have to move on, face the fact that this struggle will never end, and focus on the people, activities, and things that I love.  But that's hard to do at the moment.  I'd really like to just avoid all of my responsibilities right now and just have fun -- that's not realistic, of course.

Life has punched me in the gut, knocked me to the floor, and I'm currently down.  The referee is counting to ten, and I just want to stay where I am.  I don't want to get up and face more of the punches.

Adhesions suck.  

I'm better than this, and I will rise above these feelings.  I've got to ensure that the aspects of my life that I do have control over are happy, thriving ones.  That means some major life changes to better my situation.  But this is an emotional and existential challenge that I'm going to need to deal with first.  For now, I can only send out my thoughts and feelings in this blog.

Financial Debt and Wellbeing

Financial debt, particularly in the form of credit card debt, can deeply affect your personal self-worth.  That has been my experience, at least.  But this is ultimately a positive story to tell.

When I turned 18 years old and entered college in 1997, at a time when credit card companies were permitted to set up tables across college campuses and offer their plastic cards at low interest rates AND a free t-shirt (!) when you open an account, I fell victim to that scene.  Except that's not quite true.  I was not a victim.  I could logically work it out in my head that every penny and dollar that I spent using a credit card was not free money spent.  I knew I would owe it all back eventually plus interest.  However, each credit card transaction felt like a minor event.  I'd think, "When I graduate and make lots of money, I'll easily pay this back."  Hundreds (probably thousands) of credit card transactions added up and gradually weighed me down.

I carried out this poor financial plan of instant gratification and delayed punishment for fourteen years.  During graduate school I took it to a new level when I took out $16,000 in student loans, mistakenly believing it was a necessary action to stay afloat as a poor graduate student.  It wasn't necessary.  I simply didn't want to face the truth that I needed to live within my means.  I wanted to spend money on material possessions (many of which I eventually threw away but still had the debt associated with them) and fun vacations.  Even when I got a "real job" after graduate school, I maintained my bad habits.  I'd try to validate my spending routine with excuses: "Maybe I'll inherit lots of money one day" or "I can stop spending so much whenever I want" or "I always make the minimum payments, so what's the harm?"

By September 2011, I had accumulated over $38,000 in credit card debt.  Major car trouble that year finally triggered a financial existential crisis.  I am incredibly lucky to have parents who could help me out, and I was able to get a used car from my father.  I am thankful for this advantage I had.  I know that most don't have that safety net.  That crisis opened my eyes to my real situation: I was weighed down by debt - financially and emotionally.  I felt ashamed.  When I dated other people, I knew I'd eventually have to mention my debt.  I'd see people my age get married or buy a new car or make a down payment on a home with their savings, with few if any worries.  I'd wish I could be like them.

It was a depressing experience, literally.  Feeling that shame for years, even when it was below the surface, made me feel like I had little worth.  It inhibited my career plans.  It inhibited my relationships.  It inhibited my sense of pride.

But then I was given sound advice when I sat down with my friend and coworker Amanda.  She suggested a debt management plan through Money Management International (MMI).  She knew someone else that did it, and it worked for them.  It was the first advice I had heard from anyone that seemed to make any sense.  I talked it over with my mother, and she reminded me that it wouldn't be easy.  I'd actually have to budget my money and use only what I had in my bank account.  I'd have to throw away all of my credit cards.  ALL of them.  No "emergency" credit card on the side.  "Emergencies" are slippery things you can easily create out of thin air.  When I called the financial counselor with MMI, she helped me come up with a plan. It'd take about four and a half years at most to pay off all of the credit card debt.  MMI works with the credit card companies to reduce your interest rates and modify your minimum monthly payments.

Here's what my situation looked like - I have no shame in explaining it now, and perhaps if you're reading this, it might help you by seeing what MMI was able to do for me.

Credit Card     Balance     APR       APR Reduced     Monthly Minimum Payment
                                                                                    Old                      New
#1                    $3,459      10.24%   (no reduction)     $65                      $82
#2                    $2,666      13.24%   6%                      $57                      $65
#3                    $17,992    22.99%   9.9%                   $550                    $419
#4                    $4,370      19.99%   6.99%                 $91                      $92
#5                    $9,716      9.9%       3%                      $177                    $202

As you can see, MMI was able to significantly reduce the annual interest rates for four of the five credit cards.  Some monthly minimum payments went up; some went down.  The total monthly payments were lower with the new plan.  It was a plan customized to meet my budgetary needs. MMI charged me a $30 monthly administrative fee, but that has been a small price to pay.  My financial counselor suggested requesting an income-sensitive based payment plan for my student loan; since that interest rate was so low (just 3%), it made sense to make lower payments to that so that I could make higher payments to the higher interest credit cards.  MMI closed four of my five credit card accounts, but left one open so I could maintain a credit history.  But I wasn't permitted to use that card.  The MMI plan was financially smart, and it forced me to stick to it by signing an agreement.  I could back out of the agreement at any time, but all of the interest rates would go back up if I did that.  Once I signed my name, I felt like I made a commitment to MMI, to the credit companies, but most importantly to myself.  Once I signed the agreement, I instantly felt relieved -- I felt GOOD.  Some weight felt lifted from my chest because this was a plan for a positive future.

I've never backed out of the plan.  I've stuck with it.  You can read my prior blog posts and see that I made sacrifices to have a budget designed to be within my means of living.  I also got creative and came up with ways to save money.  Sometimes I made additional payments when I had extra cash.  I'd occasionally work a side job to make additional money.  As my salary increased a bit, I'd distribute the salary increase directly to my credit card payments through MMI.  With my tax refunds, I'd designate a portion of it for payments.  I'd also put aside money in a savings account for those true emergencies.  My credit score has risen dramatically throughout this time.

It actually hasn't been too difficult to stick to this plan.  At times, I'd feel down, wishing I had more money to spend.  But I never considered backing out because I knew I'd be hurting myself.

In January 2015, I paid off my first credit card.  Now this month (February 2015), I paid off the second credit card.  Presently, my credit card debt is under $9,000 (which is $29,000 less than what it was in September 2011).  By November 2015 (probably sooner), the remaining three credit card accounts will be whittled down to zero.  At that time I'll be able to focus on paying off my student loan.  Most importantly, I'll be able to start building a financial future.

This is the year when I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It is invigorating.  I can visualize a near-future where I can control my destiny through my career, relationships, and overall well-being.  And perhaps this can serve as an opportunity to help someone else who is in financial distress and needs that push, motivation, or advice to make a plan for a positive future.

The Glass is Half Empty (And That's a Good Thing)

In September 2011, I was sinking in credit card debt of just over $38,000.  Over the years, I had placed in my figurative glass IOU after IOU for the credit card companies.  A trip to England?  No problem: I'll owe you.  A new computer?  Easy: I'll owe you.  Emergency car repair?  That's no fun, but sure: I'll owe you.

When my 13 year old vehicle was giving me major issues and I realized that I wouldn't be able to afford the cost of repairs or a new-to-me car, that's when I realized how much trouble I had.  I was making minimum monthly payments on my credit cards; I never missed a payment, but I also kept on tacking on more debt.  So my debt-to-credit limit ratio was always worsening.

I was in a panic and feeling nearly hopeless.  The best advice I received was from a colleague who said I should consider a debt management plan.  I set up a phone appointment with a financial counselor at Money Management International (MMI).  We went over all of my income, debts, and other obligations.  She helped me create a manageable budget and agreed that a debt management plan would work well for me.  The plan reduced my credit card interest rates by a great deal, but all of the cards' accounts would be closed except for one.  And I wouldn't be permitted to use that card while I'm paying off debt; it was just to keep some credit history.  I would pay a $30 monthly fee to MMI, which was pocket change compared to the significant savings from the lowered interest rates.  The remaining $860 would be divvied out by MMI to the credit card companies.  And I'd be on this plan until January 2016.

I've stayed true to this plan, and I'm happy to say that this coming week, I'll make my 29th monthly payment of $890, and as a result, my glass of IOUs will officially be half empty.  50 percent of the credit card debt has been paid off, and I presently have about $19,000 in credit card debt.  It's still a large figure, but it feels important to celebrate this milestone.

Since September 2011, I made a number of changes to how I earn and spend my money:

• Increased my income a bit by taking on additional hours working occasional events
• Reduced my cell phone bill by switching to a no-contract company called Ting; my monthly bills went from about $75 to $30
• Automatically transferred $100 every month to a savings account for emergency purposes
• Stuck to a budget on dining out, entertainment, etc. (sometimes I do overspend in one of these areas, but I compensate by reducing my spending in another area that particular month)

I frequently look for good deals where I could save money.  Little things, like paying 10 cents less a gallon by signing up for a free plan with a gasoline company.  Buying generic name foods at the least expensive grocery store in town.  Buying in bulk at lower cost at places like Costco or on-line when it makes sense. 

I still participate in my daily pleasure of buying a mocha latte, and certainly I could have saved considerably more money by making my own coffee, but I decided I wanted to retain something I could enjoy on a regular basis.  It's worth it to me.

I have two years remaining until my figurative glass is empty.  Into that glass, I'll be able to put in what I want to.  More savings.  More investing.  More discretionary fun, but within my means.  Better positioning to make major life decisions.  What a relief that will be to have such financial control and flexibility.  And that will be the difference: I will control my finances; they won't control me.

Adventures in Nova Scotia!

It had been eight years since I last traveled out of the country, so the opportunity to visit Nova Scotia for four days during the month of October was a refreshing experience.  My uncle has a friend who lives in Port Maitland, just a few miles north of the city of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia, who invited him, his partner, and me to stay at her home.  She and her husband were wonderful hosts, and I'm so grateful for their hospitality.  They provided us with great food, a comfortable and relaxing place to sleep, and a pleasing atmosphere. The weather was gorgeous the entire visit, too - warm and sunny throughout!

Our journey started at 6am on a Wednesday morning with a short two-hour drive north from my uncle's house in Maine to the Canadian border.  The border agent asked us lots of questions, but parted ways with us with a sense of humor: "Will you get into trouble if I let you boys in?"  Of course, we wouldn't.  And truly, we didn't!

After a brief detour by my mistaken GPS which brought us to the wrong ferry in Blacks Harbour, we ventured another hour to Saint John, New Brunswick and took a three-hour ferry ride on the Princess of Acadia from Saint John to Digby, Nova Scotia.  The ferry staff directed us to the lower level where I parked my Prius cozily in company with other vehicles.  We had free roam of the ship with plenty of amenities: a cafeteria, a couple lounges, a movie (The Great Gatsby was playing), free high-speed wireless internet, and beautiful views of the Bay of Fundy.  The ferry shows its age, but it met all of our needs.  It's nice to just relax, walk around, and take in the fresh sea air.  While I originally wanted to drive around the Bay of Fundy, the ferry ended up cutting a couple of hours of travel time.  It also saved three hours of driving.

When we deboarded at Digby, it was just a short one-hour drive to Port Maitland to meet up with my uncle's friend.  They gave us a tour of their home, a former bed-and-breakfast originally built in the 1860s.  It's a beautiful home which they clearly took care in renovating and making it their own (which means it's very classy).  They had a vegetable garden with a small barn in the back yard and colorful flowers in the front yard.  Their house was not even a mile from the beach, too! It was a short first day in Nova Scotia since we hadn't arrived until at 4pm, but we had a delicious home-cooked pasta dinner and great conversation.

On Thursday, we checked out the city of Yarmouth starting with breakfast at a cute little place called the Old World Bakery.  We also visited the Cape Forchu Lighthouse which was a fifteen-minute drive south of Yarmouth.  Cape Forchu features some really unique rock formations, the likes of which I've never seen before.  And it was a place I needed to visit again, as a half-hour wasn't enough time to really appreciate it.  From there, we had lunch with my uncle's friend as well as the owners of the impressive MacKinnon-Cann Inn.  The couple that own the inn and cafe there were entertaining (very outgoing and boisterous personalities), and we also got a quick tour of the inn as well as the house they live in down the street.  The inn featured rooms that each span a particular decade in time in North America.  Really cool!

We took a gander at the Yarmouth County Museum & Archives that had an eclectic historical collection native to the city and region.  I saw some walking sticks for sale there, so I had to purchase one since I make a habit of collecting them on my journeys.  Though the woman working at the front desk didn't know who made them at the time, she made some phone calls and ultimately took down a message for me (and I received a response from the assistant director of the museum the next day).  Sadly, the creator of the walking sticks, a Yarmouth local named George A. Nickerson, passed away, but his creations had been donated to the museum so I was glad all of the proceeds from the purchase went to the museum at least.  And I'm the proud owner of a unique new walking stick!

Through the day, we had learned a great deal about the history of Yarmouth.  It's a sea port that used to have a frequent ferry service from the States, but when the ferry stopped running, it hurt business.  Fortunately, there's a plan for a ferry to run again between Portland, Maine and Yarmouth starting in May 2014, so it should invigorate the city once again.  Every one in the area was talking excitedly about the prospects of the ferry returning.

We walked the beach in Port Maitland and collected some cool rocks smoothed out over time by the ocean waves and other elements.  The tidal changes are dramatic, and since it was low tide, we were able to walking along the sand bar.  For dinner, we had another home-cooked meal.  I learned about my uncle's friend's interest in family history, and I'm hoping to help her with her research in the near future. 

Friday started with breakfast at a little diner near Beaver River just a couple miles north of Port Maitland.  I don't remember the name of the diner but it was good food!  For the rest of the day, we put my Prius into action by taking a long drive on Route 3 along the coastline to Barrington Passage and back.  It was a chance to see a lot of the local rural communities including those on Cape Sable Island.  We got back in time for dinner at a local Port Maitland restaurant, Hidden Treasures Family Restaurant.  My uncle got to see another old friend there.  I enjoyed a cold lobster sandwich - so tasty. That night, I pulled out my brand new camera lens and tried it out on some night stars photography at the beach.  That form of photography is still a work-in-progress for me, but I think the lens showed promise for further practice!

Saturday began at 6am to see the sun rise near the Beaver River cemeteries.  It seems to be a popular place for local photographers interested in the views provided for a sun rise.  I took a nap, and after waking up and getting a warm shower, we visited a cool little antique store in a barn a short drive away in Brenton, called Yaciuk's Antiques.  The owners seemed really nice.  The main attraction there were their beautiful clocks (cuckoo clocks, mantle clocks, and other wall clocks).  Afterwards, we drove by a few houses for sale that my uncle wanted to see.  Real estate is extremely inexpensive compared to the U.S., at least where we visited in Nova Scotia.  If I had money to spend on a vacation home, the southern Nova Scotia coast would be a great spot!

Thereafter, we returned to Yarmouth for lunch at the Old World Bakery, and we saw one of our hosts play some folksy music on his guitar at Sip, a local cafe.  He's got a good sound!  Also on an aside, I noticed that Sip had almond milk for their mochas (or any espresso beverage) but I thought that was terrific - why don't more coffee places offer almond milk?!  Such a better option than soy milk.  But I digress.

Cape Forchu landscape

We returned to Port Maitland for more nap time.  I don't know why but my energy levels were super low during the day.  But I got my passion going for a second visit to Cape Forchu at sun set.  I took a lot of photos there, and I could have continued for more than an hour but alas, my companions were chilly and hungry.  So we headed out and had one last dinner together at Rudder's Seafood Restaurant in Yarmouth.  It was kind of sad, because we knew it was our last night in Nova Scotia so we just enjoyed ourselves with some good conversation!

The next morning we took off at 6am to drive back to Digby to catch the ferry back to Saint John.  But before the ferry journey began, Nova Scotia gave us a parting gift of one of the most stunning sunrises I've ever seen.  Low-lying clouds and fog along the water contributed to some beautiful colors.  It was like the horizon of the sky was on fire, and with some patches of blue sky higher up, the contrasting colors were captivating.  I burned through my camera's battery that morning!

The drive back after the ferry ride was uneventful.  We pooled together all of our Canadian bills and coins and bought some gas since we knew we wouldn't be able to use them back in the U.S.  When we reached the American border, U.S. customs agent was actually really nice and didn't give us a difficult time at all; we expected a lot more questions coming back into the states but it was quick and easy.

I definitely plan on returning to Nova Scotia again, especially considering there will likely be a ferry coming out of Portland. I'd like to see Cape Breton which is further north in Nova Scotia and offers a different sort of landscape, something more like Scotland from what I've heard.  I also want to visit the city of Halifax.  Nova Scotia is a beautiful country, perfect for landscape photography!  And ideal for anyone who wants to relax and appreciate nature, old buildings, and wonderful, friendly people.

Want to see more images from this adventure?  I've made about 70 photographs available that I took from the trip in this album on my Google+ page.

Images of Boston

Boston is only a 40 minute trek away from me, so I don't know why I fail to visit more often.  On the evening of Saturday, July 27, 2013, I drove up to Quincy and took the subway to Prudential Station.  With my camera and tripod, I endeavored on an adventure of the soul.   

French photographer Marc Riboud noted that "taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundredth of a second."  I find photography to be a spiritual activity, particularly when capturing images of urban and natural landscapes.  It is a calming experience in which I can infinitely appreciate singular moments.

This particular writing is a journal of an evening in just a small part of Boston near the Prudential Center and the Christian Science Plaza.  There is so much more of Boston to breathe in. 

It was an hour before the sun would set.  From Prudential Station, I took the elevator to the fiftieth floor of the Prudential Tower, where you can take in 360 degrees of views of the city of Boston from the Skywalk Observatory.  There is an admission fee, although with a Massachusetts Teachers Association card, there is no charge.  I sadly had to part temporarily with my tripod, as I was informed those are not permitted.  The observatory is fully enclosed with glass, which adds the challenge of smudges, scratches, and reflections.  Night photography is challenging enough without the glass.

I carried in a camera bag my Canon Digital Rebel, 18-55mm and 70-300mm lenses, a camera remote control, and a rubber lens hood.  The camera remote enables you to release the shutter without touching the camera, thus avoiding camera shake.  The rubber lens hood reduces the amount of glare and unwanted reflections getting into the picture.  Without my tripod, it was more difficult to capture the images I wanted.  Thankfully, my camera bag was sturdy enough to balance my camera, although positioning proved to be tricky.

The setting sun lit the western facades of buildings with a rich saturation of color that's very satisfying.  Skyscrapers (i.e., 111 Huntington Avenue and the John Hancock Tower), Fenway Park, the classic Citgo sign, the Christian Science Center, and the red-bricked Bostonian buildings dotted the landscape.  The brief time after sunset was my favorite, as city lights came on but a bit of sunlight remained.  As night fell, it was more challenging to take good photographs through the glass.

That's why the Christian Science Plaza was a perfect location to visit afterwards.  Clear skies, no glass interfering other than the camera lens itself, and gorgeous scenery!  A long rectangular reflecting pool stands by the Christian Science Center.  Serendipity stepped in as fireworks were set off for a few seconds at the tail end of a five-second photograph I was taking of the center.  All in all, I spent just over three hours "savoring" life.

Here are a few of the photographs I took in Boston that evening:

My favorite photo of the evening: John Hancock Tower, and just to the right in the sky,
you can see the light trail of a plane taking off from Logan Airport

The Christian Science Publishing Society;
the blue lighting drew me right in!

Serendipitous fireworks exploded in the skies
behind the Christian Science Center

Fenway Park

The setting sun saturated these towering buildings with rich light

A wide view of Boston;
the Trinity Church of Copley Square can be seen in the lower right

111 Huntington Avenue skyscraper towers above residential buildings

The iconic Citgo sign in Kenmore Square

Reflections at the Christian Science Center

What Would It Be Like?

I have a strange, personal confession to make.  On occasion, I enjoy letting my brain go to another time, such as the U.S. Civil War era.  I nerdishly endeavor to imagine being a person (usually male, since that's easier for me) from that historical context; then I bring him to the present day.  That's where I let my introverted brain marinate.

It is July 1863.  He stands proudly for a portrait.  He will give the tintype photograph to his newly wedded wife to remember him by until he comes home again, should Providence safely guide him through this damned war.  The camera faces him in the bright daylight as the seconds pass.  Nearby, a soldier of his same Massachusetts regiment takes a rifle and carefully aims at a practice target.  Unaware of this, he maintains his easy gaze into the camera when the soldier's gun shot rings out.  The sound surprises him but not before the whoosh of time unravels and mysteriously drops him 150 years into the future. 

The rifle's shot still echoes in his ears.  But instead of a photographer before him, there now stands an imposing tower.  What is this monstrosity?  This is no man-made work of iron.  He does not know that the strange structure with a blinking light at the top sends out radio waves that others will be able to hear with the help of a stereo.

Heavens!  Something blurs by him.  It is much smaller than a locomotive.  No thick smoke escapes it.  It moves but seems quiet.  It's a Prius.

With a cell phone, a passerby take a quick photo of him, ignorantly asking him the question, "Is there a Revolutionary War re-enactment happening in town?"  Eighty-five years separate those two wars.  This fool has no educated sense of history.  A young girl nearby sets off a firecracker, sending the faux paparazzo into a momentary state of shock, and the man's cell phone jumps into the air.   

It's all too much for this man of God.  Moments before the confusion might send him into a fainting spell, he is suddenly back in 1863.  Near his boots, the cell phone lies there on the ground.

An image can be seen on the now-cracked screen of the phone.  Almighty!  This image on this supernatural tool is of him!  And that ominous tower with the blinking light can be seen behind him in it.

Oh, how a seconds-long gaze can brew such an imagination as this.

Gut Feelings: My Pancreas Pleads the Fifth

I figured I should post an update on my pancreatic adventures since early May, now that I've had all kinds of tests completed.  The simple answer is that all of the tests came up normal.  The doctors couldn't find any clear cause of the acute pancreatitis.  They call it idiopathic pancreatitis when no apparent cause can be found.

On June 12, I had an MRCP (Magnetic Resonance Cholangiopancreatography) done, which is a fancy medical term for an abdomen MRI with contrast for the area around the pancreas.  All of the results turned out to be normal, with the exception of a fatty liver, which I already knew about.  In my case, the liver has fatty deposits throughout, most likely as a result of a long-term high-carbohydrate, high-fat diet.  Luckily, a fatty liver can traditionally be reversed over time with a healthy diet.

A blood test taken while I was in the hospital for any autoimmune diseases also came back negative.

I had a conversation with my primary care physician on June 20, and while he admitted this was a highly unusual case of pancreatitis with no known cause, he felt that a poor diet leading to a high level of triglycerides in my blood (hypertriglyceridemia), the third most common cause of pancreatitis, was the most plausible cause in my case.  A couple days into my hospital stay, they had checked for this. They informed me then that while my triglycerides were high, they weren't high enough to cause pancreatitis.  My doctor on June 20, however, believes it's possible that I did have hypertriglyceridemia upon admittance at the hospital, and after fasting for 2-3 days, the triglyceride levels might have decreased significantly.

For my own sanity, I have to go with that being the likely cause of the pancreatitis.  Being on a low-fat diet and avoiding alcohol for the rest of my life should result in a healthy body and a decreased likelihood of any recurrence.  I'm also back to brisk walking again now that I'm feeling good and back to a 2000-calorie daily intake.  Exercise and diet should hopefully bring down my triglyceride levels and cholesterol.  

Out of curiosity, I asked my doctor what my lipase level was when I was admitted to the hospital.  Lipase, a pancreatic enzyme, is normally found in the blood at 11-82 units per liter (U/L).  With pancreatitis, the lipase level might be about three to six times that amount.  When I was admitted to the hospital, it was 8000+ U/L, which was WAY more than six times the normal level.  Three weeks after being released from the hospital, my lipase level was back to a normal 46 U/L.

At this point, I must close this chapter of my life and recognize that all I can do is choose a healthier lifestyle and hope for the best.  Hopefully, this is the last post that I write that has anything to do with my pancreas!