It's funny how a slim card of plastic that can fit in your wallet can weigh you down so much. Sometimes they multiply, especially under the right economic conditions, until there's a point those little pieces of plastic become tethers anchoring you down as the waters rise all around you.
It's a depressing experience when you allow credit cards and debts to become larger than you ever expected. It started for me when I entered college in 1997. I was getting so many credit card offers at the time during the good old Clinton era when businesses were booming. As a college freshman, I gave in to the temptation. Being an avid 49ers fan, I got myself an NFL credit card through MBNA. And then I spent money like it was my part-time job. But with most part-time jobs, the benefits are few. In 1999, I had an awesome three-week vacation in England with my best friend. He saved for it. I didn't. By that time, I already had accumulated a few credit cards. Though I don't regret that trip to England for a moment, I'm ashamed to say that it started the lengthy trudging through deeper and deeper debt.
I always thought I'd get myself out of it on my own. But it's been 14 years since the debt began - and gradually increased. Over the last three years, the debt has plateaued but never decreased. Then this August 2011 slammed me with such frustration and fear that I knew I had to seek help.
Early in August, I noticed my trusty 1998 Nissan Altima with 120,000 miles was making loud rumbling and squealing noises under the hood whenever it was idling or accelerating. I had it checked out by the local mechanic and $530 later, part of the problem was fixed. But the mechanic said the timing chain in my engine was about to go, which was the kind of work he didn't do. I took it to the local Nissan dealer and they confirmed the problem along with a hefty $3400 price tag to get it fixed. I couldn't afford this, not even if I combined all the remaining available credit on all of my credit cards. The financial fear was gripping, and I called my father to ask if he'd help me get a "new-to-me" used car. Initially he said he'd do it but then changed his mind and said he'd only give me a loan to repair the car. I didn't have much of a choice unless I took out a large car loan - but even when I did the math for that, I wouldn't have been able to afford the monthly payments unless it was beyond a 60-month term. So I called around to different auto shops and was able to get my car fixed for $1450 (which contributes to the notion that dealerships are greedy folks!) after getting a check from my father to pay for it. But I still feared this was $1450 being sunk into a potential black hole. It's an old car after all. It took a week for the car to be fixed, which was the longest I've ever been without a car. That wasn't too bad though since I was in the middle of Resident Assistant training at work which meant I was mostly stuck on campus anyway!
When the auto shop called me to say it was all repaired, I was so relieved when they told me everything else under the hood was in fantastic shape. What a gift.
I didn't want to experience such stress again though. What would happen when my car needs another major repair again - or worse yet, is beyond repair? I knew I had to take care of my personal debt crisis seriously. After speaking with a friend, I believed speaking with a financial counselor would be a smart start. Another friend provided me with the name of a reputable credit counseling company, and that's when I decided to take control of my life again. After a lengthy phone conversation with the counselor named Tricia, she helped me create a debt management plan and a personal budget. Starting this Monday, I will be giving a little more than half of my monthly salary to the credit counseling company every month for the next 4.5 years. They'll in turn distribute that money to the credit card companies each month. It's well worth it, as they're able to lower all of my credit card interest rates by very significant amounts. You can probably get a good sense now of how bad my debt has really become.
I have cut up all of my credit cards so there's no temptation. And as each credit card is paid off, that particular account will be closed until all I have left is one credit card remaining with zero balance. That's where I'll re-build my credit history, wisely this time. Thankfully throughout the last 14 years, I've never missed a payment to credit card companies and I always made more than the minimum payments, so my credit score is actually really good right now. So even as my credit history is gradually "lost" over the next 4.5 years, I don't think I'll ever have "bad" credit. I have student loans too, but I have to manage them myself. I'm not overwhelmed by those loans - they'll get paid down soon enough.
I've often felt weighed down and depressed by all of the debt I've had. It's hard to believe that nearly half of my life has been inundated with that horrible feeling and a sense of no control. But at least I now have a plan. And with a new personal budget, I'll be able to put aside money monthly for emergencies like car repairs (or perhaps a down payment on a new car a few years down the road?) while also only purchasing the things I only really need. Well... with one exception.
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| My little piece of heaven |
That exception would be mocha lattes! I love them too much and I've visited Starbucks and the local Better Bean coffee shop to get my craving for so long. Mocha lattes are my self-indulgence. When it comes down to it, they are probably my most simple daily pleasure that I didn't want to lose. Of course, I couldn't afford to drive out and buy them anymore with my new budget. Well - six years ago, my parents bought me an espresso machine that I never used. Too complicated, I thought, quite stupidly I might add. But three weeks ago, I chose to finally give it a try, and guess what? I've made a mocha latte for myself every day since. It's certainly an art form to make the perfect mocha, but I've succeeded at doing so. And instead of paying $4.25 a day for a mocha - plus gas for the car (gasp!), now it only costs me $1.50 a day.
August 2011 was the month that nearly brought me to the financial brink. Instead, I've chosen to use it as an opportunity to bring me to the light. I can see the light. And in 4.5 years, I'll be able to bask in it. It's a tough journey ahead, but I'm ready for it.
