The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday, December 14, 2012 has inundated the news lately. It has caused a torrent of tears, feelings of anger and blame, and confusion about why a human being would willingly and carefully plan out the horrific act of taking the lives of children. It really doesn't make any logical sense. Eventually we suspect there will be some publicized explanations, however irrational or unbelievable they might be. For now, we can only ponder it blindly.
Adam Lanza has become a name unfortunately emblazoned in our national consciousness. There are those who do not hesitate to label this troubled man as a lunatic, a monster, or a maniac. It is easier on us to dehumanize someone who carries out such a horrible act. After all, these victims were innocent six and seven year old children - and the courageous educators protecting them. Their inner light extinguished. I have shed many tears about this like we all have.
But I have no illusions about the fact that Adam was a human being. In my opinion, to label him a monster is an injustice in itself. It is in my nature, based upon my upbringing, personal experiences, thoughtful reflection, and probably a bit of genetic coding, to view every human being as essentially a good person. Whenever I get the desire to label someone as "evil," I catch myself. My worldview emphasizes the need to reflect upon the similarities held among us in the human race. And that for all of our cultural, socioeconomic, racial, and spiritual/religious differences, we share the common experience of being human. Therefore, when such acts of violence occur, soul-searching is necessary. If we label Adam a monster, then it is critical to look within our selves and ask the question, "Do I have the capacity to be a monster? A lunatic? A maniac?" Before you reply with a unflinching, automatic "No, I don't!", reflect deeply on that question. Seriously.
Based on the limited knowledge we have so far about Adam, it seems evident that he suffered from a number of mental and physical disorders. A very troubled young man. These conditions clearly played a significant role in his development as a child and adolescent. Obviously, he could not have come out of his mother's womb with an immediate intent to kill, need to hate, or desire to commit violence. But his disorders did factor into his life experiences. Perhaps he was bullied; maybe he was made an outcast; potentially he faced a personal trauma; possibly he developed a worldview that dehumanized others. But if he had an psychological apathy for others and disinterest in social engagement, that is not enough on its own for one to commit violence. With his biological disorders combined with a culmination of his interactions with others, he ultimately chose to take his mother's life, children's lives, and teachers' lives. An awful, awful thing. In the well-known theoretical debate over nature versus nurture, I'd say - like many would - both biology and life experiences form who we individually are. But he made a choice, one that others may have unwittingly permitted or even nudged. This isn't to say that we should readily blame Adam's family or the people who knew him. We can't and shouldn't. This was a choice Adam made himself. But it is to say there must have been signs. It takes time to plan out the horrible crimes that he enacted.
Adam was apparently mentally ill. That does not make him a lunatic. I despise that word for its offensive history. Using such terms is a way for us to feel better about ourselves and push people like Adam outside the boundaries of humanity. But then we avoid seriously talking about the problem and instead sensationalize his actions. I can empathize with the sincere writer of "I am Adam Lanza's Mother." How does one effectively parent a child who makes threats against him/herself and others? Is it enough to send such a child to the hospital emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation? Is it sufficient to provide him or her regular counseling sessions? Is the answer to medicate? Does it take a village, like Hillary Clinton might say, to ensure another Adam doesn't unleash violence - and if so, what are all the villagers' roles? Do we simply lock such a person away for life or for a very long time in a psychiatric institution? And what if, as an adult, this individual with violent thoughts but no documented threats does not wish to be treated for their mental illness? Should we enact laws to force this person into treatment, and if so, where do we draw the line?
I don't know. I doubt any single mental health expert has truly credible, reliable, and consistent answers to these questions, either. But I imagine it will be the professional community who provide mental health support that puts together a semblance of a plan forward.
We've heard about parents of families who initially led stable, productive lives but ultimately faced a series of personal stressors that brought them to despair, and they chose to take their family's lives and their own. If these people are monsters, like Adam Lanza has been labeled, then look within yourself and consider what you might do in their shoes. I'd bet you don't really know, though you'd hope you wouldn't do what they did.
Mental health is a critical discussion point for our nation. It's not to be taken lightly. Compassion for others is a crucial requirement for the treatment of mental illness - and for the treatment of our fellow human beings.
We cannot stop all of these personal tragedies from happening again. And they're certainly nothing new (read about the horrific 1927 elementary school bombing that faded from our national memory). But we can all do our part to care for our family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. And that's a start.
I started this reflective piece by noting my aspirations to be a forensic psychologist. So why did I ultimately choose a different career path? Focusing on the darker side of the human mind ultimately led me to realize that I didn't want to spend my entire life mostly attentive to the terrible things we are capable of doing. I knew it would eventually bring me down. So I switched majors and chose instead to direct my studies to the psychology of personality. And I later chose to work in higher education and student affairs. It's because I believe in the inherent good of everyone, and we can help others grow into their potential. As long as we choose to care.
