You're My Friend, But You're Also an Idiot (A Commentary on Politics and Empathy)

It's been a hard-fought political season among all levels of government this year.  Emotions run high, as they always do.  There is a plethora of disagreements, as should be expected.  Social media has become a mainstream method of communication, at least for most of the people I know.  But from my perspective, people rarely used social media as a tool to engage each other rationally.  Like-minded people tended to use Facebook and Twitter to agree with each other.  Those with differing views tended to use social media as a means to belittle others.  Anonymity can explain some of this, though it's not a good excuse.  But when we clearly go beyond anonymity, when people know that acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family members are reading their statuses and tweets, I have a more difficult time trying to work it out logically in my head: "Why is it that people lose empathy on social media?"  And I know it's not just on social media - the technology we use is not the problem; rather, it's the behaviors we choose to enact that embody the concern.

Politics has always been entwined in upheaval, struggle, and emotional carnage.  I can only speak to what I've witnessed in my short life so far.  When political candidates become monoliths, you begin to see people demonize, demean, and dehumanize those candidates.  To a portion of the populations, these candidates suddenly become stupid, ignorant, malicious, greedy, selfish, divisive, uncaring, lazy, weak, brutal, dishonest, or even evil.  And to that I ask, why is this the accepted norm?

I volunteer that I've made critical attacks of statements that candidates and elected officials have made.  I know I've mocked their backgrounds and beliefs, too.  So I'm not without sin here.  But I was never comfortable when I saw others on Facebook and Twitter calling Mitt Romney "Mittens" or Barack Obama "Osama."  I cannot help but believe first that people have good intentions.  I wait for someone to prove me wrong.  I can't say that I ever hated any elected official or candidate.  I don't know them.  I don't know what's in their hearts deep down.  All I know is they are human, and they are in a position of power.  But the moment they are dehumanized, it opens the door to hatred.

I was really surprised this election cycle to see people socially close to me announce such disgust for the 'other' who voted or planned to vote for the opposing candidate.  It made me extremely uncomfortable when folks would say that the South voted for Romney because they're all stupid and uneducated.  Or that liberals voted for Obama because they're all self-claimed blameless victims.  When a family member or close friend would argue that anyone who voted for the candidate I preferred is an idiot, it just shocks me.  So I'm an idiot, too?  How are we friends?  How did we grow up as family members but suddenly get to this point?  Maybe it shouldn't bother me.  But it does.

We have every right to argue another person's political stance is wrong.  But when we call that person a moron for taking that stance, we have lost EMPATHY.  Rational discussions sometimes bridge gaps in beliefs, and sometimes they can't possibly even begin to do that.  Some of those beliefs are critical ones that impact lives and human dignity.  And that can be difficult to overcome.  But when we can't bridge those particular gaps, why can't we then choose instead to find other areas where we can agree?  Because in every person and in every political candidate or official - I'd argue we can find agreement in at least one - but likely many - of their beliefs and actions.  They're not "all bad."

This lack of empathy is what continues to drive this divisiveness in politics.  When using social media, I think we need to remember that we have chosen to set foot on a public stage with the spotlight on us.  In these political times, two friends might joke to each other what an idiot a particular candidate is and everyone who follows that candidate.  And those two people might be the most cultured people you thought you knew!  But HELLO.  The rest of their friends and family are watching their every move.  Sure, we have the right to offend everyone else.  But why would we want to?

The only we way we can accomplish stuff and move forward is by finding ways to collaborate and solve problems.  We need to humanize each other and remember none of us is perfect - and none of us is the devil-incarnate.  You can call me naive, but I'm confident that I'm not.

Where I Got My Res Life Roots

Tonight I thought I'd sift through some old papers and poems I'd written in high school and college - because, yes, I save almost all of them.  But then I came across something that brightened my evening - something I haven't read in years.  It's an "OTM" or Of-the-Month award - one of those acronyms we use in student affairs.  I think it's a sign that I need to start writing them again because I was so persistent about recognizing others as a college student.  I always felt it put a positive mark on a person's life - it put the spotlight on them and gave them strength in knowing the work they did was meaningful.  A little extra side effect?  It made me feel good to recognize others, too.

I rarely get teary-eyed but reading this OTM tonight that an RHA colleague wrote about me in February 2000 has certainly reminded me of where I got my res life roots.  It's totally self-promoting to post it but it's been more than twelve years since it was written.  And maybe folks who know me now can get a little sense of the guy I was.  I'm glad I saved it.  Thank you Kristen for the sweet nomination you wrote about me back then.  We lost touch but I hope you're rocking whatever you're doing in life.  :) 

Here ya go, everyone.

             Have you ever met the type of person that at first does not outwardly seek leadership positions, but when he finally does accept a position the results are remarkable? Michael Goodhart is that type of leader. At the beginning of the school year, Radford University’s Residence Hall Association (RHA) decided to create the appointed position of Webmaster. Michael more than fit the bill, through his love of computers and previously made web sites. 

            During the month of February, Michael has, without a doubt, been RU’s greatest residence hall student leader. He has added to and maintained the RHA web site almost daily. Recently, he has even scanned and posted pictures of RHA conferences, programs, and intramural events. One of his major projects during the month of February was formulating the RHA logo contest. He saw that RU’s RHA had a slogan but no logo, so he compiled examples from other Residence Hall Organizations across the country to show hall senators in hopes that someone would draw a logo for a reward of twenty-five dollars. Michael received over fifteen submissions by the end of the month, which was way more than anticipated! 

            Being fairly new to RHA, Michael had never attended a leadership conference. His first opportunity came at the beginning of February when the Virginia Association of College and University Residence Halls (VACURH) held their annual conference. The National Communications Coordinator chose Michael to head the name tags committee. This year, nametags would be judged as opposed to displays. Michael’s committee worked diligently to produce creative nametags that well represented Radford. The delegation proudly showed them off at VACURH. 

             Then during mid-February, Radford began preparing for the No Frills conference and writing a School of the Year bid. Even though it was not in his job description, Michael worked many sleepless hours on the bid with other executive board members. He played a vital role in compiling information, proofreading others’ work, and polishing up the final details. 

            Not only had Michael attended his first conference and helped write a School of the Year bid, but he also found time to start planning for next year. Executive board members for Radford’s RHA had to complete their bids to run by the end of the month. Michael knew he wanted to be even more involved next year, so he decided to run for Vice Chair of Policies and Procedures. His bid was not only thorough and concise, but it was ready to be turned in a week early! 

            In addition to his work with residence hall government on the campus level, Michael helps to advise his respective Residence Hall Council in Trinkle Hall. He is a positive role model for the hall council officers to emulate. They look to him for advice and ask for help during meetings when things are not running as planned. Officers also come to Michael for one-on-one guidance. This month, he has successful encouraged two hall officers to run for campus-wide positions next year! While still advising and helping Trinkle Hall Council, Michael also maintains their web site. His ability to create remarkable web sites even fascinates students who major in Information Systems! 

            Michael has truly exceeded all aspects of being a student leader by continuously showing dedication and effort to his campus.  His lists of accomplishments this month have truly been impressive. He has gone well above and beyond his duties as RHA Webmaster. For these reasons, I take great pride in nominating Michael Goodhart for Executive Board Member of the Month for February.