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Photograph taken by yours truly in eastern Washington state at sunrise, 2004

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

You're My Friend, But You're Also an Idiot (A Commentary on Politics and Empathy)

It's been a hard-fought political season among all levels of government this year.  Emotions run high, as they always do.  There is a plethora of disagreements, as should be expected.  Social media has become a mainstream method of communication, at least for most of the people I know.  But from my perspective, people rarely used social media as a tool to engage each other rationally.  Like-minded people tended to use Facebook and Twitter to agree with each other.  Those with differing views tended to use social media as a means to belittle others.  Anonymity can explain some of this, though it's not a good excuse.  But when we clearly go beyond anonymity, when people know that acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family members are reading their statuses and tweets, I have a more difficult time trying to work it out logically in my head: "Why is it that people lose empathy on social media?"  And I know it's not just on social media - the technology we use is not the problem; rather, it's the behaviors we choose to enact that embody the concern.

Politics has always been entwined in upheaval, struggle, and emotional carnage.  I can only speak to what I've witnessed in my short life so far.  When political candidates become monoliths, you begin to see people demonize, demean, and dehumanize those candidates.  To a portion of the populations, these candidates suddenly become stupid, ignorant, malicious, greedy, selfish, divisive, uncaring, lazy, weak, brutal, dishonest, or even evil.  And to that I ask, why is this the accepted norm?

I volunteer that I've made critical attacks of statements that candidates and elected officials have made.  I know I've mocked their backgrounds and beliefs, too.  So I'm not without sin here.  But I was never comfortable when I saw others on Facebook and Twitter calling Mitt Romney "Mittens" or Barack Obama "Osama."  I cannot help but believe first that people have good intentions.  I wait for someone to prove me wrong.  I can't say that I ever hated any elected official or candidate.  I don't know them.  I don't know what's in their hearts deep down.  All I know is they are human, and they are in a position of power.  But the moment they are dehumanized, it opens the door to hatred.

I was really surprised this election cycle to see people socially close to me announce such disgust for the 'other' who voted or planned to vote for the opposing candidate.  It made me extremely uncomfortable when folks would say that the South voted for Romney because they're all stupid and uneducated.  Or that liberals voted for Obama because they're all self-claimed blameless victims.  When a family member or close friend would argue that anyone who voted for the candidate I preferred is an idiot, it just shocks me.  So I'm an idiot, too?  How are we friends?  How did we grow up as family members but suddenly get to this point?  Maybe it shouldn't bother me.  But it does.

We have every right to argue another person's political stance is wrong.  But when we call that person a moron for taking that stance, we have lost EMPATHY.  Rational discussions sometimes bridge gaps in beliefs, and sometimes they can't possibly even begin to do that.  Some of those beliefs are critical ones that impact lives and human dignity.  And that can be difficult to overcome.  But when we can't bridge those particular gaps, why can't we then choose instead to find other areas where we can agree?  Because in every person and in every political candidate or official - I'd argue we can find agreement in at least one - but likely many - of their beliefs and actions.  They're not "all bad."

This lack of empathy is what continues to drive this divisiveness in politics.  When using social media, I think we need to remember that we have chosen to set foot on a public stage with the spotlight on us.  In these political times, two friends might joke to each other what an idiot a particular candidate is and everyone who follows that candidate.  And those two people might be the most cultured people you thought you knew!  But HELLO.  The rest of their friends and family are watching their every move.  Sure, we have the right to offend everyone else.  But why would we want to?

The only we way we can accomplish stuff and move forward is by finding ways to collaborate and solve problems.  We need to humanize each other and remember none of us is perfect - and none of us is the devil-incarnate.  You can call me naive, but I'm confident that I'm not.

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